Remote Possibility
by Newromantic
Summary: Pre-Unnatural Selection Nonsense! J/S as ever, but *So* not my idea...


Disclaimer: (Because she liked it so much…) Sam, Teal'c and Jonas belong to those fine folks in Canada, but Jack belongs to Jara Dax.   
  
Seriously. She made an icon and everything.  
  
Long A/N: Jara Dax and NHawk thought that the following conversation between Jack and Sam in Unnatural Selection suggested that a previous interlude must have taken place. So, me being the sucker that I am, I said I'd write a story about it.   
  
So here it is. At least the first part anyway. The second part will be posted as soon as I know where I'm going with it…  
  
I do, however, feel the need to point out that I don't watch Star Trek. Any of them. So any and all continuity errors in regards to those particular programmes are academic because, quite frankly, I have no idea what a warp drive is.   
  
Many, many thanks to Dietcokechic for title suggestions and spotting my mistakes, and Jojo for title suggestions and beta reading such nonsense.  
  
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Sam: So what didn't they go for?  
  
Jack: The name I suggested.  
  
Sam: For the ship?  
  
Jack: Yeah.  
  
Sam: Yeah. Sir? We can't call it 'The Enterprise'.  
  
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Remote Possibility  
  
"So are you going home Jack?" Jonas asked over a nutritious commissary meal of hamburger and fries.  
  
"Not today," the Colonel replied with a small shrug. "I'm gonna spend the night on base. Loads of work to catch up on tomorrow and I don't think I'll make it out of my office before midnight if I don't get an early start."  
  
Sam swallowed a mouthful of pasta. "What time is Teal'c off to Chulak?" she asked as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.  
  
Jack looked at his watch. "In fifteen minutes. We'd better go see him off." With that the three members of SG1 rose from their table and headed off to the gate room.   
  
***  
  
'…To seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has…'   
  
The sound of hollow footsteps reverberating down the empty corridor deep within Cheyenne Mountain had Colonel Jack O'Neill jumping into action faster than if he had suddenly spotted a legion of Jaffa heading his way.  
  
With one swift movement he leapt out of his chair and made a grab at the television remote control, his panicking fingers trying desperately to find the off switch before whoever was rapidly approaching caught him red handed in his most embarrassing situation to date.  
  
Growling in frustration, Jack accidentally hit the mute button before the controls slid from his sweaty grasp and slid across the floor before landing with a sold thud between the bed and the wall.  
  
Major Carter arrived at her Commanding Officers quaters to find the Colonel lying face down on his mattress, trying desperately to reach for something down the side of the bed and swearing like a trooper when he realized his hand wouldn't fit.  
  
Suppressing both the urge to giggle at this very comedic display and also the urge to reach out and caress the overwhelmingly tempting buttocks that were currently swaying in her direction, Sam, as ever, went for the professional approach.  
  
"You need some help there, sir?" she asked innocently.  
  
The sound of Carter's voice had Jack jumping off the bed as if he had just been stung. He landed on two feet before her; his face red with frustration and embarrassment, but his pose proud and strong. He regarded the Major for a moment, trying to ascertain whether or not she had spotted the television playing silently behind her, then shook his head slowly.  
  
"Uh, no. I'm fine thanks," he replied, unconsciously shifting his gaze from the woman before him to the television set and back again. "I just dropped something down the side of the bed and was trying to reach it."  
  
"Oh." Sam nodded in understanding. "You want me to try? My hands are smaller." Without waiting for a reply she sat on the edge of the bed and began removing her boots.  
  
Jack blinked. Carter was taking her clothes off. *why* was Carter taking her clothes off?  
  
"Uh, what you doing there, Carter?" he asked nervously.   
  
"You want me to climb on the bed with my boots on?" she countered, looking up at him incredulously. "I don't think the cleaners would be too pleased to find footprints on their sheets."  
  
Oh. Right.  
  
"We have cleaners?" He'd honestly never thought about it before.  
  
Sam grinned at her bootlaces. "No, sir. We have elves."  
  
Jack regarded her sternly, secretly pleased that she was starting to sound as sarcastic as him. "Funny…"   
  
"Thank you sir," she replied before yanking her boots off and climbing onto the bed. "So what am I looking for?"  
  
Momentarily overwhelmed by the sudden realization that the woman of many a late night fantasy session was currently occupying his bed in the only way he had never envisioned her, Jack needed a second to gather his thoughts.   
  
"Television remote!" he exclaimed in victory as his mind wandered sulkily away from the proverbial gutter.  
  
"Right." With that Sam turned over and started rooting down the side of the bed. "I went to your office but you weren't there," she said as she tried to shove her hand down the side of the bed. "I thought you were gonna be working all day."  
  
"Yeah," Jack replied slowly, mesmerized by the way her knees dug into the mattress to steady herself. "I'm just taking a break."  
  
Apparently that answer seemed to satisfy the inquisitive Major. "So how did you manage to drop it down here?" she said with a grunt as she snagged the remote with her right hand and wriggled back into a sitting position, holding her prize triumphantly before her.  
  
The whole episode had been way too much for Jack's libidinous body to deal with. What with the seductive way her fatigue covered thighs and buttocks had swayed provocatively before him and the fact that her actions had now left her hair looking as though someone had just run their fingers through it…not to mention that the exertion had left her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright…  
  
Yeah, he definitely needed to sit down.  
  
Sighing heavily Jack planted himself on the bed next to his Major and looked guiltily towards the television set. There was no point in hiding the truth; she was bound to notice eventually.  
  
Sam's gaze followed the Colonel's and he watched with a frown as a look of surprise formed on her face. "Star Trek?" she murmured, "I thought you hated Science Fiction!"  
  
"I do!" Jack exclaimed huffily. "But Teal'c asked me to tape a couple of programs for him whilst he was on Chulak and this was one of them. It's only just started," he continued desperately, "See?"   
  
Sam turned her attention back to the television and watched as the names of the guest starring actors appeared along the bottom of the screen. "Okay," she said slowly, "but that still doesn't explain how the remote ended up down the side of the bed."  
  
Jack colored slightly. "It fell," he muttered to the floor.  
  
"It fell?" the Major repeated incredulously. "How did it…"A huge, shit-eating grin suddenly appeared on Sam's face as she realized the truth."You panicked, didn't you?" she said, her voice taking on a teasing tone. "You heard me coming and didn't want to be caught watching Star Trek!"  
  
When in doubt, fall back on rank. "Major…" Jack began warningly.  
  
But Sam completely ignored him, making the Colonel wonder once more if they had been getting a little too comfortable with one another over the last six years. To make matters worse, he suddenly couldn't give a damn. He loved to see her like this; smiling and happy. God knew that they all had enough to be sad about so if it meant that his ego would suffer a little in order to hear her laugh, then so be it.   
  
"Why didn't you just turn it off at the set?" she asked, her grin growing impossibly wider.  
  
Oh.   
  
*Oh*. He hadn't thought of that.  
  
Still, she didn't need to know that. "I'm not ashamed of recording Star Trek, Major," he replied haughtily. "I just muted it so I wouldn't have to hear it. And as for the remote," he continued with the knowledge that he was definitely going to hell, "If you must know I was lying on my bed and it was resting on my stomach. When I turned over I forgot it was there and it slid to the floor."  
  
"Riiight." Yeah, like she was gonna believe that pile of…Still, if he honestly felt the need to lie to her about his actions, then there was no way he was gonna get off without her teasing him for a while.  
  
Strolling over to the television she picked up the magazine lying on the floor beside it and looked down the page. Jack closed his eyes in surrender and placed his head in his hands.  
  
"It isn't how it looks…" he murmured almost to himself.  
  
"You mean you haven't really marked every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Andromeda and Farscape for the whole week?"  
  
"Teal'c did it!" he exclaimed in desperation, sticking to his flimsy excuse even now.  
  
Sam grinned and pointed to the television. "Well sir, according to the T.V Guide here, this program's been on all day. Are you telling me you're recording each and every episode for Teal'c?"  
  
Okay, so he was really getting desperate. This lie was *so* backfiring. "Right," he whispered.  
  
Carter nodded in understanding, before coming to stand in front of' him in an accusatory pose. "Apart from the overwhelming evidence in the TV guide, there is one other small point that leads me to suspect you may not be telling the whole truth, sir," she said with a grin.  
  
Jack was sinking fast. "What's that?" he grimaced, already knowing his fate.  
  
"You don't have a VCR in here."  
  
Ah.  
  
Hadn't thought of that either.  
  
Jack sighed dramatically. Apparently his special ops training wasn't as up to scratch as he though it was. Of course, they'd never used Sam Carter as a method of distraction during his training…  
  
  
  
"You've been in here all day, haven't you?" Carter continued, thoroughly enjoying the pained expression on her CO's face, not to mention the fact that he hadn't said a word about speaking out of turn to a superior officer. Basically, she was pretty much enjoying just being his friend for once. Well, that and ragging on him.  
  
Jack nodded in resignation and came to stand before the Major, almost close enough to be classed as a serious invasion of personal space. It hadn't escaped his notice that they certainly weren't behaving completely professionally and he, for one was going to use this moment wisely.   
  
Moving ever so slowly, the Colonel lifted his right hand and plucked an imaginary piece of fluff from the shoulder of Carter's top, his eyes dilating of their own accord as he heard her sharp intake of breath. "You won't tell anyone you caught me watching Star Trek, will you Carter?" he murmured, his fingertips softly stroking the black cotton where the 'fluff' had been before moving away to come and rest limply against his side.  
  
"N-no, sir." Sam replied, wondering absently when the hell her voice had turned all husky.   
  
Jack smiled in satisfaction and took a half-step closer, inhaling deeply as he caught the feminine scent of her shampoo and wholly resisting the urge to run his fingers through her hair in an effort to make it more mussed up than it already was. This was supposed to be about making her distracted, not making himself horny.  
  
Sam shivered involuntarily as the Colonel inched his face closer to hers. She could feel his warm, sweet breath on her lips and the room around her became blurred until all she could concentrate on was his face. Somewhere in her head her brain was trying to remind her of all the reasons why this was wrong, why she should be walking away right now and find somewhere dark and secluded to hide.  
  
But her body just couldn't care less.  
  
The Colonel's deep, resonating voice interrupted her misty thoughts and she tried to regain her composure. "And you especially won't tell Jonas or Teal'c, right?"  
  
Sam nodded enthusiastically. At this moment in time she would agree to stripping naked and yodelling the theme song from Friends on top of a table in the commissary if only he would just kiss her. Right now.  
  
Right…  
  
…now.  
  
To be continued… 


End file.
